thirteen monsters

Help

2008-03-03T11:01:05Z

I'm starting week three of exhaustion because I can't sleep. I started not being able to string together consecutive hours of sleep a couple weeks ago, tossing and turning and waking up frequently throughout the night. This results in me being a zombie during the day, which explains all of the lost days I've experienced lately. Also, when I wake up around 3-6, I get really hot and have to toss off all my blankets -- I just did so now. Though before now, I never got out of bed like I did this morning, and now I feel cold.

I've worked the depressant's circuit to try and get some rest. Sleeping pills: tried'em... No good. Light amount of alcohol before bed to make me even more drowsy: tried it... No good. Heavy amounts of alcohol before bed, I've done that too: I actually am able to sleep for 5 or 6 hours, but that's it. And the following day is lost because I'm hung over. This isn't a solution because I can't live life constantly getting shitfaced every night -- a point I drove home to myself last night as I emptied the rest of my gin into the toilet.

Last night, I refrained from eating for a few hours before bed and didn't consume or imbibe a single depressant. The result was the same.

And now I'm facing another lost day.

Besides going to the doctor (which I will try to do today), anybody got any suggestions? Because if this keeps up, I'm going to flunk all of my classes.

ismitas @ 2008-03-02T20:45:00

2008-03-03T01:36:59Z

I've come to the conclusion that I hardly ever use Livejournal.

Either that or I come on here when I'm a mental mess, having just another one of those days that seems to happen all too often, and my mind is blank while staring at a computer screen, looking for something to entertain me while I can hardly string two thoughts together and think in a coherent manner.

I've been having too many of these days lately. My cognitive abilities break down and I can't study. Since I'm a college student and studying currently equals my life, this is not good because I keep falling farther behind on my work.

I'm not sure how many more days like this I can have before I fail.

And I'm not sure how I can avoid having days like this.

All I can do is hope that I don't have them. Somehow, someway.

In the meantime, I haven't fully convinced myself that everything I touch doesn't turn to shit. I never have, probably never will, and I imagine this is one of my biggest problems, too.

Well, that was a stupid fucking idea

2008-01-10T07:28:14Z

I got home from work around 9:30 tonight, and my brain was feeling nimble so I decided to get some reading done. But before then, I lifted weights. So I wouldn't feel tired afterwards, I skipped the whole drinking water thing while lifting weights and drank a mug of coffee instead.

I got some reading done.

I just watched Hot Fuzz.

And it's past 2:30 and I'm still not tired.

You know, that whole coffee thing was a stupid fucking idea.

That political quiz that's going around...

2008-01-07T05:59:07Z

I have a couple problems with it -- which relate to problems with simple questions in general. But first of all, my results:

87% Dennis Kucinich
86% Mike Gravel
86% Chris Dodd
79% John Edwards
77% Hillary Clinton
77% Barack Obama
77% Bill Richardson
74% Joe Biden
36% Rudy Giuliani
30% John McCain
24% Ron Paul
23% Mike Huckabee
19% Tom Tancredo
18% Mitt Romney
8% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

No surprises there for me. I'd love a Kucinich presidency, and it's a shame that such will never happen. I'm a bit surprised that Biden didn't rank higher on my list -- I actually think the guy would make a decent Secretary of State. That's something I never admit to my multitude of blogging buddies, fearing that they might disown me... And I've already burned enough bridges on the liberal side of the blogosphere, but that's another story altogether. Maybe I'll get to it someday.

Now, the questions from the quiz.

There are some issues that shouldn't be multiple choice. Example 1: Darfur. This question certainly doesn't do our response to the genocide there justice:

17. What is America's role in an overseas crisis such as the genocide in Darfur?
* We must respond vigorously, with diplomacy and troops on the ground to end the crisis.
* We must address the issue diplomatically while encouraging the UN and NATO to send troops, with minimal US military support.
* We must use diplomacy only and try to cut off the money supply to the "bad guys".
* The US has no major role to play.

I chose the second option, and it kind of killed me to make that choice, but there are so many other factors in play here. First off, solving the Darfur genocide would have been much simpler in 2003 - 2005 before the rebel groups were given timie to disagree with each other, thus ensuring that a peace agreement won't come to pass since not all of the groups will agree with one. And given a budding crisis in Pakistan and a clusterfuck of a war in Iraq -- that we shouldn't have marched into in the first place -- our military is not capable of handling emergencies in Sudan right now. Worse yet, back in the 90's the southern part of Sudan waged a civil war against the Sudanese government, so there's a balance to worry about here -- any response against the Sudanese government against their crimes of genocide in Darfur (of which President Bashir and all of his FUCKING ASSHOLE compatriots are royally guilty of and should be hanged by their fucking cocks for, if this were a perfect world) needs take any possible response from southern Sudan into account. If brash actions are taken, then Sudan could be embroiled in a three-way civil war and that won't do anybody any good.

There's the facts. Those couldn't exactly be included in a multiple choice question.

The genocide of Darfur is a reflection of a lesson the international community should have learned after World War I -- especially since the result of lessons unlearned then led directly to World War II. Had the League of Nations, founded by President Wilson in the 1920's as a forum for nations to conduct diplomacy in, succeeded, chances are Hitler would have never come to power and WWII would have never happened. But diplomacy broke down, the League collasped, the world let shit build up, and a genocide ensued followed by millions and millions of needless deaths. Fast forward to 2008, as the international community continues to squabble, Darfur degenerates. None of this had to happen. Why can't this lesson ever be fucking learned.

As far as these views go, I'm not sure where they would fit on the quiz... Are they conservative? Liberal? Realist? Constructivist? Who knows; and as far as I'm concerned, who gives a shit? They're right, and that's all that should matter.

Next question:

14. What is your view on the minimum wage?
* The concept of a minimum wage should be eliminated.
* We should keep the minimum wage, but it should not be raised, or it should only be raised slightly.
* We should keep the minimum wage and raise it regularly to keep pace with the cost of living.

I'm not sure why this question is even on the quiz. I had to answer the second option because minimum wage is part of a social safety net that keeps our economy out of depressions, but the economy we live in right now is also sensitive to increases of currency -- thus causing the dollar to lose it's value. That's part of the problem with the housing crisis we're currently going through. All those subprime mortgages are loans that never should have been made, but each loan made creates money -- currency doesn't need to be printed to be created anymore. And the more there is of something, the less demand there is going to be for it. So, as far as value goes, more dollars = less money. See, the economy does know what irony is! That bastard.

This related to minimum wage and a living wage because if that goes up, it also increases the amount of dollars -- thus devaluing the currency, increasing prices, and leaving us back at square one.

If you ask me (which I'm sure nobody has, but you're reading this shit so I'm gonna tell you), what this country needs is a good recession to knock shit back into order. But no candidate is going to say that, for obvious reasons.

10. Where do you stand on embryonic stem cell research? Answer as if alternatives (adult stem cells) do not pan out.
* This research should have no support from the federal government beyond what Bush has provided.
* The federal government should support this research.

Option C: Who gives a shit? What kills me about questions like this is how specific they are. In a quiz full of general question, then we get this pinpoint one. If we have questions like this, I want more like them. For example, there was a question about alternative energies, so I propose another question for them: "Do you support a government program, similar to our funding of NASA for our mission to the Moon in the 1960s, to figure out economically feasible ways to power America without oil in two decades?" You know how I'd answer that? I think you do, because you'd answer it the same way.

So if we're going to discuss specific funding for embryonic stem cells, why not specific funding for alternative energy research or a billion other issues?

And, as you can see, I've got issues if I'm willing to rant this long about a stupid quiz. But, well.. It had problems.

The only reason to follow football...

2008-01-07T00:00:03Z

The only reason to follow football is to dish out punishment to your friends when their teams crash and burn. This is easy with the NFL, too, because there's so many choices. For some reason, many football fans don't like their hometown teams. They like a team from a town they have absolutely no connection to. I haven't seen this phenomenon happen with other sports... In baseball, for example, people like either their hometown team, Yankees, or the Red Sox. There isn't a random Kansas City Royals fan out there. But there are random Chuckafuck City, USA fans outside of Chuckafuck -- thus increasing the number of people within my vicinity that I can make fun of.

Case in point, an old coworker of mine, who has never lived in Pittsburgh, is a Steelers fan. I got home last night and my roomie's boyfriend had the Steelers/Jacksonville playoff game on, so I sat down and watched. I'm not a football fan, but I understand the game and wanted to keep watching this playoff matchup because, quite frankly, both teams sucked so bad that I was laughing my ass off the whole time.

I tell my roomie's boyfriend, "If the Steelers lose, I'm gonna send my coworker a txt saying, 'Man, that game was like Big Ben riding a motorcycle.'" We both got those evil giggles. To explain this, "Big Ben" is the nickname for the Steelers' quarterback, and he's famous for injuring himself after crashing his motorcycle and not wearing a helmet. I still find it ironic that he has to wear a helmet at his job, yet he neglected to wear while humping a crotch rocket.

Anyways, the Steelers lost and the txt got sent today. I feel like such an asshole, but in that good, harmless, smart ass way... Ya know? At least football, the omnipresent uber-religion of America, is good for something.

Being routine

2008-01-05T17:24:29Z

My resolution for this year is to learn how to become a better student. I need to accomplish this by managing my time better and learning how to study more efficiently -- which means figuring out a way to stop procrastinating. Time management is the key to keep up with another resolution: to stay in shape.

Bucking the trend, my fitness goals have nothing to do with New Year's resolutions. Ever since I ended up losing around 80 pounds of myself, I've been resolved to keep that off... And besides, exercise is a compromise in feeling better. Here's the trade off: you can push yourself and feel like shit during the time you're exercising then feel great afterwards, or you can not exercise and feel like a lesser form of shit 24/7. I'd rather feel good 23 hours a day than face the alternative, since I've already lived in the alternative.

You have to ease into an exercise routine, though - especially when you're me. Being hypoglycemic, any change to my normal routines causes my body to go through blood sugar fits and crashes for a couple of weeks. So it's best to stick to whatever workout routine I have going. This is where the time management resolution comes in.

Last summer, just having moved to Western Mass and not wanting to pay gym fees (I'm too broke to cover such costs), I bought a weight bench and exercise bike so I could work out at home. I eased myself into an exercise routine, and took it with me into the school year. I felt pretty good.

Then a number of things hit: I had to get a new job because my old one wasn't paying the bills, we had to boot one of the roommates out of the house which caused a week's worth of drama; and the workload from my classes started eating me alive. By November, I had fallen out my exercise routine. I tried getting back into it in December, lifted weights once during the month -- the next day, my back was killing me. And for days afterwards, my back was killing me, so I went to the doctor. He gave me some stretching exercises to do and told me to take it easy for a month.

It's been a month. The new semester hasn't started, so, here I am again. Less fit and trying to get myself back into a routine. I started lifting weights again last week, which instantly led my body to demand food at all times. And I haven't yet hit the exercise bike... Reason being that when you roll out of bed after sleeping for nine hours and you still have bags under your eyes, you don't want to fuck with your body.

I've been taking it easy, slowly trying to get back into an exercise routine. Apparently, I'll have to take it even easier.

!@#$.

Had I stuck to the exercise routine I started last year, I'd be bench pressing Volvos by now. So here's hoping that I learn how to manage my time better this year.

Wrapping gifts from بب نول

2007-12-25T15:50:18Z

When it comes to Christmas, I'm the laziest gift-giver ever. I'll usually purchase gift cards, just give people moneey, or.. On the off-shot chance that I get somebody an actual gift, I duck the element of surprise by not wrapping it. This is the only way I can beat out my cousin Sean in the laziness department, since he does bother to wrap his gifts -- by throwing said gift inside of some newspaper and crumbling up that newspaper into a ball. There, it's wrapped!

I don't think my family has even taken Christmas too seriously. If retail chains had to depend upon customer like us to give them a boost during the holiday season, they would go out of business so quickly...

This year, however, I wrapped one gift. I value history, be it ancient, national, local, or family -- and I realize that this gift will have family historical value.

It's a Commodore 64. Computer, monitor, and disk drive; all with the original packaging, cables, manuals, etc. The boxes are a bit aged, but the actual computer itself still looks new. I'm giving it to my brother in law who, as you might of guessed by now, is a super geek.

The C-64 was his first computer. A few months ago, I saw these C-64 boxes sitting on the lawn, across the street from my house, free for the taking because my neighbors were moving. I contemplated whether or not I should snag it. The "I don't need any more crap" part of me said no, but the geek part of me said "Are you kidding me? Hell yeah!" But what pushed me into taking it was my brother in law -- if I told him there was a C-64 across the street from me and I didn't take it, I'd never live it down. Five minutes later, all three boxes were in my living room and my roommates were wondering if they should give me and the C-64 some "private time."

I didn't have any place to set it up, though. And I kept on thinking, "Omigod, my brother in law is going to think this is awesome!" And those thoughts turned into, "Omigod, if I give this to him for Christmas, it'll be the best present ever!" And besides, that's only fair -- my first computer was a Commodore, but it was the Commodore Amiga. I never came of age with the C-64 -- he did. This was his childhood I was looking at, how could I not give it to him?

So I got all three boxes wrapped up today. The element of surprise is important here. Also, noting a headline on today's paper about a Christian Iraqi family in Providence welcoming "Papa Noel," I decided to translate that into Arabic for my present's tag, which now says "From: بب نول". After all, if I'm giving a gift that will go down in family history, I want my brother in law to know who it's from. One geek to another.

Workworkwork

2007-12-24T02:23:06Z

My semester is OVAH!

Like any semester at college, this is a learning experience on how to be a better student. And given my problems with procrastination, I've a lot to learn -- and it's rather daunting. I chatted with a polisci grad student from my Arabic class as she was packing up, and she showed me the two boxes of papers she had for her two grad courses this semester -- containing 9000 someodd pages. Each course required her to read 300 pages a week. That's a lot -- and that's what I'm working towards managing in a couple years time.

For now, inbetween semesters, I have seven books I plan on reading. If I can get a 100 pages per day done, I should be able to accomplish the goal... But I can't remember the last time I read two books in a month, nevermind seven. So if I can get three done, I'd probably be happy with that... But I'm trying not to think that way.

As for this semester, I haven't gotten my grades back yet but I think I might have gotten a B and C mixed in there... That's something I won't abide by for next semester.

Writing impressions

2007-12-19T20:49:25Z

There was a girl in my Middle Eastern history class that I've wanted to talk with all semester, but never got the opportunity to because I could never think of anything to say that would break the ice in that non-creepy, non-I-really-wanna-talk-to-you-and-I-hope-you-don't-catch-me-checking-you-out-20-times-per-class way.

As fate would have it, she sat behind me during our final for the class yesterday. And as fate would have it, she dropped her pen and it skidded down a couple rows in front of her. I heard the pen drop, saw where it went, and immediately handed her my spare pen so she didn't have to ask the professor to get up to get her's back.

But, as fate would have it, this was my spare pen:

For those of you who haven't heard of Hot Air, I don't suggest going there -- it's a very evil conservative website. And I also don't usually take pictures of my pens, but this one had some stories behind it. I got it when I was playing journalist at CPAC last March and it lasted an unusually long time for a cheap, disposable pen. Sometimes I had to use it at work, giving it to customers who used a credit card to pay their bills. Whenever using that pen in such a situation, I always worried about two things: A) advertising a site I found deplorable; or B) it would affect my tip because my customer already knew about the site.

Now I'm worried about her going to that website. I never got a chance to talk with her after the final (which is a shame because the pen would have finally given me an icebreaker), so if she remembers any impression of me, it's going to be me giving her this pen... Then afterwards, going to the website it advertises, being insulted, and wondering if anyone carrying such a pen is a huge asshole who's a fan of the shit on that website.

Ah, well. So it goes. At least I won't have to worry about my tips anymore.

"Oooh, that smell! Can't you smell that smell?"

2007-12-19T15:42:18Z

Coming just in time for Christmas, now you can get your friends and loved ones used Red Sox players' jockstraps. No, really!

What got me thinking of this story were the recent bits in the Herald discussing sales of various Red Sox players' undergarments on eBay and other auction sites. Apparently a pair of Manny's skivvies fetched $160 while Tek's earned $255. The big money, however, went to none other than Matt Clement, whose boxers sold for over $400. Ladies and gentlemen, this last point may be proof that it's finally time to abandon the Earth and colonize Mars.

Most recently, as Red Sox Monster pointed out, Youkilis' jock strap was made available to the public on eBay. The listing was eventually taken down -- no doubt after an appeal by FEMA -- but the very fact that it was out there, the very fact that someone sat down at a computer and reasoned, "Someone will pay money to have Kevin Youkilis' used jock," is a concept as frightening to me as nuclear war, open heart surgery, and the Spice Girls reunion tour all rolled into one.

I'm only buying if skidmarks are included.

Aging student...

2007-12-18T05:35:00Z

And on the topic of attempting to study, I planned on staying up til 3am tonight studying for finals -- despite the fact that my first final is at 8am tomorrow. Then I downgraded it to 2am.. Now it's a little past 12:30, been tired all night, but I just drank a sugar free Red Bull. One can is usually good for an hour of alertness -- but tonight it was worth about 5 minutes of alertness.

You know, staying up late was much easier before I became an old man.

Just keep trying!

2007-12-18T04:02:59Z

While studying (or attempting to, at least) for the final in my climate change class, this entry about nuclear energy from Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" popped into my mind:

"You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an averag-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 x 10(18) [that's ten to the eighteenth power] joules of potential energy -- enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point."

I keep on trying -- alas, no dice. Though if you're wondering what humanity's track record of releasing energy is, Bryson goes on to note: "Even a uranium bomb -- the most energetic thing we have produced yet -- releases less than 1 percent of the energy it could release if only we were more cunning."

Just thought you should know.

Define "emergency"

2007-12-17T12:08:22Z

So I had my car parked out on the street last night, during a "snow emergency," and it got towed.

The problem? The snow storm passed by early Sunday morning, not early Monday morning. By the time my car was towed, it was almost 24 hours since the last snow flake had fallen -- so where's the "emergency"?

Where I'm from in Rhode Island, if you have a snow storm early Sunday morning, it gets cleaned up that Sunday and everything's back to normal 24 hours later. That's not so here in Northampton, MA. I called the police department to ask them where my car went and why it was towed, and they told me that there was not only a snow emergency last night, but it will continue into tonight, too. Forty-eight hours after the snow storm has passed.

That's absolutely fucking insane. There's no emergency anymore. There's nothing urgent that needs to be done. I thought cleaning up a foot of snow was a normal, New England town thing... So if a town needs more than 48 hours to clean up after a simple snow storm then that town needs new management.

Or, to put it more bluntly, this is how I now regard my town's administration:

moar funny pictures

Douchebags of the Sea

2007-12-16T06:17:53Z

Last night, I didn't have to work or study for a final, so I stayed home, got drunk, and watched TV with my roommates. Among other things, I proclaimed that jellyfish were "Douchebags of the Sea" -- obviously, we were watching the Discovery channel at some point.

Sometimes those are the best nights.

A million things to post...

2007-12-12T05:31:17Z

But I didn't write about them here. And now those thoughts have escaped from my head, and I don't have anything to replace them with. So this post is about nothing in general. I just figure that I shouldn't open a new journal and then not post in it for an extended period of time... That might bring about a jinx or something.

Maybe I'm not really good at journaling. I'll post about my life, but not things about my day or anything... I guess I tend to focus on the bigger issues.

And it's not like I've had much to post about lately. My life has been school and work, with the occasional night out to do karaoke. Whee.

I'm always surprised at how empty I can make my life be. Since moving to Northampton to live on my own and attend UMass, I expected there to be a boost in my confidence, something that might provide a spark, and maybe my social situation would change. Now that I'm not living under my parents' roof, maybe I wouldn't be embarrassed to bring a girl home and, in effect, that would knock down any mental barriers I had and allow myself to put myself out there, so to speak. I wouldn't feel as distant and lonely as I had become in Rhode Island -- a man who spent way too long in one place, letting his life deteriorate around him while he felt like he was becoming a shell of his old self.

Regretfully, not much has changed besides my address.

I'm trying to figure out why this is. Surely my hectic schedule has something to do with it... Lately I've been working 30 hours a week and trying to keep up with my classes. It's tough to build and maintain a life when you're working at something all the time. But I've also felt more depressed lately, too... Staying in when I've had chances to go out. Some of this sheltering is money related -- I'm flat broke -- but there in other nights where I sit in front of the television, drinking, thinking to myself "Nobody likes me, why bother, why should I even try going out?" And I wonder if I'm just content to complain to myself, or if I actually have the balls to change my social situation.

I also wonder if I just come off as too desperate.

I wonder if I have no clue how to network and connect with people. For example, there's a girl I've been talking with all semester. I was introduced to her because she used to live in the house I live in now. Yet I haven't gotten her number or email address yet or anything... We just run into each other and chat. Maybe I'm used to waiting for things to fall into my lap, and feel disappointed when the drop doesn't occur.

I wonder if the rejection I got at the beginning of this semester has done anything to me; caused me to lose confidence. Meeting evil women sucks -- especially when they're beautiful. And especially when they let you inch a little closer to them, then shy away, and then run away. I always love that.

I dunno.

I'm just sick of being alone.

On Trainwrecks

2007-12-06T04:34:00Z

The word "trainwreck" evokes the general feeling I usually have about my life. Though I try to see the positives...

So, now that my school semester is about to wrap up, let's grab a look at the positives, first:

* It was my first time taking more than 9 credits and trying to hold down a job
* I held my own, even if the semester did eat me alive a couple times

I'm not sure if this is anything to be proud of, though, since...

* My grades are gonna suck
* This semester was easy compared to how the rest are going to be

Those Bs and Cs I've been getting on my Arabic I tests are going to become Fs in Arabic II if I don't start shaping up and finding more study time -- or, at least, trying to keep my brain from losing all cognitive ability after the sun goes down so I can study at night. But when you have to work four nights a week, the whole studying at night thing becomes difficult...

I need a lot of improvement as a student if I expect to survive in college. That might be the most important thing I've learned this semester. I've also learned to choke down coffee to help me concentrate in the mornings... Maybe I should choke it down at night, as well. So being a full time college student also makes me understand why people become addicted to caffine... I regret to say that I'm pretty much an addict now.

My working situation has to change -- I need to work less. But I also need to pay rent, too. In a perfect world, this spring I'll call my friend who's a manager at Dinsey World and ask him if he can get me a job waiting tables at one of Disney's rich resorts. If I can pull enough to save at least a thousand a week, work 7-8 weeks, then I'll have $8000 to play with for the next school year. I'd pay off all my rent immediately, budget the rest for my other bills, and only have to work a couple nights a week.

That would be nice. Shit's hardly ever perfect, though. So we'll see how things go... But making time to study has to be my main goal, since I'm really going to need such time when I'm a senior. But I'll still need to pay rent.

Speaking of ugly

2007-12-06T04:16:46Z

This list of the 20 ugliest college campuses in the US somehow forgot to pay homage to my last school, the Community College of Rhode Island. I'll let the picture speak for itself:

Actually, that picture (only one I could find on short notice) doesn't do CCRI justice in the lack of vanity category. First off, that building is on top of a hill, so when you're driving into school and see it from the highway it looks like it's a spaceship that's about to take off. The innards of the building look like an old factory that was converted into a school, except the building was designed to be and only has been a school. Veering away from the ascetics, the worst aspect about this building had to be the parking lot -- all parking was on one side of the building. That's it. So you always forced to park in row J and hoof it up the hill to get to class; which really sucks in the winter, let me tell ya. The wind chill is three times as strong when you're on top of a friggen hill.

The top 20 list does include my current school, UMass Amherst, at number two -- a well deserved honor. Observe, for example, the hotel near the center of our campus (in the foreground):

It looks straight outta Soviet-era Russia.

And while we have the largest public university library in the country, it's really not a sight for sore eyes:

Yich. And the dorm buildings look like high rise apartments that you'd find in the Bronx... Namely parts of the Bronx that you don't want to be caught in:

She ain't a looker, but she gets the job done.

Hi again, neighbor!

2007-12-02T06:23:20Z

You know, I miss Livejournal. I've avoided it for the past few months because I'm avoiding some people I just don't want to talk to anymore, but I know if I use my old account again, those people will see that I've posted and try to talk to me.

So I figured just creating a new account could solve that problem. And now I have an outlet to discuss my life again. Whee! Afterall, where else will I discuss the feelings rushing through my head about possibly going on a roadtrip with a girl I's marry if given half a chance?

For those philologists wondering about the etymology of my new handle, it's a transliteration from Arabic:
ﺍﺳﻤﻲ ﺗﺎﺱ

"My name is tas." Which isn't my real name, but who needs those things anyway? But I'm trying to learn the language, so why not put it to constructive use?